This week the writers at The Punch (www.thepunch.com.au) shared with readers a lively, and somewhat tongue-in-cheek, office discussion about the horror of being seated near a screaming baby on a long haul flight.
Titled "I've had it with these #!* babies on this #!* plane", as it was designed to, the article sparked a heated debate on The Punch's comments board.
The topic followed this week's confirmation from Malaysia Airlines CEO, Tengku Azmil that the airline doesn't allow babies under 2-years-old to fly first class (and apparently that has been their policy for years).
You can read Malaysian Airlines' defence of the baby ban policy here. Interestingly the statement is all about the reconfiguring of their planes rather than the true reason for the ban.
As pointed out by Azmil on Twitter earlier in the week, the ban comes down to the fact that first class passengers who pay a lot of money to fly just don't like screaming babies. Who does?
As a parent of two noisy pre-schoolers, who fly long and short haul on a regular basis, I also don't like being seated near screaming babies or other people's bratty 4-year-olds who kick the back of the seat and have sugar-fuelled tantrums.
The (unfortunate) fact is that as parents it's generally not an option for us to leave our kids behind when we travel in order to make it a more comfortable flight for the rest of the passengers.
So what's the solution? Should families who travel be segregated on "family-only" flights or, alternatively, should airlines introduce "no-kids" flights to give intolerant adults an option? Should people with kids be given a different section of the plane? (But that's just as stupid as the old smoking sections on planes because, just like smoke, kiddie noise travels a long way!).
Basically it comes down to parents taking a sensible and considered approach to travelling with their kids, particularly on long haul flights.
Team Somerville has certainly had its fair share horrendous flight experiences due to the bad behaviour (and otherwise) of our children.
A standout example was when my then 3-year-old projectile vomited all over me as the pilot was announcing the plane's descent. As I found out when I tried to get out of my seat to go to the bathroom, air stewards have no sympathy for a parent covered in vomit. They just want you to sit the @#! down!
We're certainly not experts, but having notched up loads of air miles with young children in tow since we left Australia in early 2009 here's our tips for travelling with kids.
With babies (0-2 years):
There's generally a reason for a baby to scream - they're hurting, hungry, overtired and/or over-stimulated. Make sure you prepare for all possibilities.
Some ideas to make their flight more comfortable:
- Keep their routine: try to work in with their sleeping and feeding routines so they don't get overtired. For really young children, we've found that overnight flights work best.
- Drugs are good!: if it's the first time your baby has been on a plane, pre-empt any issues with their ears by giving them some cough medicine (such as dimetapp or benadryl) which will help "balance" their ears (this is advice I was given by a nurse when my girls were little and it hasn't failed us yet!). Always carry baby Panadol or Nurofen in case they have any kind of pain during the flight.
- Something old, something new: for babies they will appreciate some comfort from home so make sure you bring their favourite teddy or blanket. Like any kid, no matter how old, they'll also appreciate something new such as a toy or book to play with. And if it's wrapped so they can play with the wrapping paper, even better!
- Seated for comfort: most carriers will let you sit with a child 2 years and under on your lap which means they fly for free. If you can afford to buy them their own seat, it is more comfortable for them and you. You will need to take their car safety seat which can be strapped into the plane seat. Also good if you're hiring a car at your destination.
With toddlers and pre-schoolers (2-5 years):
It's pretty obvious but so many parents travelling with kids just don't seem to get it. Children need to be entertained on a long flight. Don't board the plane expecting the flight attendants to find ways to keep your kids busy, the inflight children's pack will be opened and discarded long before the plane takes off. Always take your own toys (new if possible), books and snacks.
Like you they'll be excited about going on a holiday, but they're not going to understand just how long the flight will take. Talk to your kids about what is going to happen, particularly if it is their first plane flight. To make it more exciting, let them help pack their own carry-on travel bag (we highly recommend the Trunki).
Here's some ideas to make your trip fun for everyone:
- Timing is everything: try to work in with their sleeping and eating patterns. When our kids were babies we found overnight flights were best. Now they are 4-years-old, and less likely to fall asleep easily, we find the daytime flight is better - they can watch movies or do drawing and if they miss their afternoon nap it's not such a big deal.
- Divide and conquer: if you are travelling with more than one child (and two adults), we recommend splitting them up. Try to get two rows near each other and give the kids the window seat (which has the added advantage of keeping them contained). If you're lucky you'll get a spare aisle seat so you can let your kids spread out.
- The bribery bag: make travelling on a big plane fun. For all long flights we give our girls a present bag that they only receive once the plane takes off (if your kids aren't used to travelling you might want to give it earlier). In our present bag we have small gifts that will keep them occupied during the flight. Examples: a small toy (for us a Strawberry Shortcake or My Litttle Pony), a small lego set that they can build on their tray table, reading books, colouring crayons/pencils and colouring books, a new dvd. Also include some of their favourite snacks, but go easy on the sugar! And if you wrap each present it makes it just a little more special.
- Let their eyes go square (just this once!): once your kids realise there's nothing interesting down the end of the aisle, they'll be happy to sit and watch a movie or kids tv show. If you don't think the inflight programs will be suitable, take a portable dvd player or laptop with their favourite tv show or movie. Take some kid-sized earphones as some carriers don't have them. If you have an IPad they have some great kids apps that will keep them amused for a long while.
If you can't do that put your earphones on and keep your opinions and snarky looks to yourself. And if you're that intolerant, learn from our mistakes - go get yourself sterilised. (sorry, just kidding!)
Do you travel regularly with small kids in tow? Share your travel tips (or horror stories!) by posting a comment below.